Post by Chuck McCue on Mar 18, 2023 23:34:12 GMT -5
Jacksonville Morning News
Wednesday, June 16, 1886
“HOW HE GOT A DRINK”
The Mystery of a Striped Pair of Stockings Bought at Pablo.
An East Jacksonvillian went down to Pablo last Sunday and brought home a
pair of handsome striped stockings. On being asked how he came possessed of
the stockings, he stated very indignantly that he had bought and paid for them.
“Are there dry goods stores open on Sunday at Pablo?" he was asked.
“Oh no, but there are some restaurants during week days which are
converted to ‘rest-your uncles‘ on Sundays."
The way he found out this secret was as follows: He had taken an hour's
bathing in the surf, roamed through the big hotel, and over the sand dune for a
mile or more, and during the latter ramble made the acquaintance of a million
red bugs. Finally, he found it necessary to change his stockings, if possible, and
coming across one of the carpenters at work on one of the new houses,
(although it was Sunday), he inquired if he knew where he could buy a pair of
stockings. The carpenter, with a sly twinkle in his eye, directed him to one of
those "rest-your –uncle” establishments, such as towns like Pablo alone can
boast of. Straightway the East Jacksonvillian went to the place indicated, and
was invited to go in and take a seat in a recess. He then told the waiter he
wanted a pair of stockings. The waiter bowed and touched his hair, being minus
a hat, and forthwith returned with a pair of striped stockings.
"How much is to pay?"
"Seventy-five cents."
"All right. This is Pablo, is it? Two hundred per cent is the least profit your people
can be content with, eh?", and with this remark he paid over the seventy-five
cents and at once made arrangements to change his stockings, when to his
great astonishment, he found a bottle inside the foot of one
of the stockings.
The bottle was a regular whiskey flask, and it was full. He took the cork out
and smelled.
"Humph! Fire water!" he muttered, and the East Jacksonvillian, not having
then joined the Sons of Temperance, drank the contents of the bottle, changed
his stockings, and with some effort reached his native heath some time after
dark.
Next morning he had a fearful headache, and was obliged
to make the hasty acquaintance of the suburban druggist. The
last seen of him he was enquiring for Worthy Patriarch Castell
of Guiding Star Division for the purpose of being initiated
into the mysteries of the noble order of the Sons of Temperance,
and swearing vengeance on the "stocking business" at Pablo.
Wednesday, June 16, 1886
“HOW HE GOT A DRINK”
The Mystery of a Striped Pair of Stockings Bought at Pablo.
An East Jacksonvillian went down to Pablo last Sunday and brought home a
pair of handsome striped stockings. On being asked how he came possessed of
the stockings, he stated very indignantly that he had bought and paid for them.
“Are there dry goods stores open on Sunday at Pablo?" he was asked.
“Oh no, but there are some restaurants during week days which are
converted to ‘rest-your uncles‘ on Sundays."
The way he found out this secret was as follows: He had taken an hour's
bathing in the surf, roamed through the big hotel, and over the sand dune for a
mile or more, and during the latter ramble made the acquaintance of a million
red bugs. Finally, he found it necessary to change his stockings, if possible, and
coming across one of the carpenters at work on one of the new houses,
(although it was Sunday), he inquired if he knew where he could buy a pair of
stockings. The carpenter, with a sly twinkle in his eye, directed him to one of
those "rest-your –uncle” establishments, such as towns like Pablo alone can
boast of. Straightway the East Jacksonvillian went to the place indicated, and
was invited to go in and take a seat in a recess. He then told the waiter he
wanted a pair of stockings. The waiter bowed and touched his hair, being minus
a hat, and forthwith returned with a pair of striped stockings.
"How much is to pay?"
"Seventy-five cents."
"All right. This is Pablo, is it? Two hundred per cent is the least profit your people
can be content with, eh?", and with this remark he paid over the seventy-five
cents and at once made arrangements to change his stockings, when to his
great astonishment, he found a bottle inside the foot of one
of the stockings.
The bottle was a regular whiskey flask, and it was full. He took the cork out
and smelled.
"Humph! Fire water!" he muttered, and the East Jacksonvillian, not having
then joined the Sons of Temperance, drank the contents of the bottle, changed
his stockings, and with some effort reached his native heath some time after
dark.
Next morning he had a fearful headache, and was obliged
to make the hasty acquaintance of the suburban druggist. The
last seen of him he was enquiring for Worthy Patriarch Castell
of Guiding Star Division for the purpose of being initiated
into the mysteries of the noble order of the Sons of Temperance,
and swearing vengeance on the "stocking business" at Pablo.